Normally Abnormal
by FanFicGirl5000
Summary: Jeremy is a vampire hunter, but what if he was tired of it? He cares about his sister, and even if he doesn't want to be a vampire himself, Elena isn't truly the monster he's supposed to think she is. This fanfiction is all about what-ifs. What if Jeremy really did go to a University arts program? What if that University was Duke University... where he might meet Sarah Salvatore?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** Not every chapter will be Jeremy writing in his journal, although his journal will be more common than the actual diaries in The Vampire Diaries. I'm not as confident in my writing as I'd like to be, but I wouldn't mind any feedback you might have. By the way, Jeremy is kind of out of character, but I tried to make his character somewhat believable. Also, any future chapters will likely be much longer.

 **Jeremy's Journal: Entry #1**

How do I write a date if I'm writing my future?

Why did I cross those words out in frustration? I don't know. Or maybe I do. The truth is, that is the truth. How am I supposed to write a date when I'm writing about my future?

Maybe I should record the date... for Elena, at least. One day, whether it be during my lifetime or not, Elena will think about mortality. She will think about her brother Jeremy, and maybe think a bit more about what I have to say, or at least what I wanted to.

Elena, if you ever do read this, I'm not angry at you. I mean, it's hard _not_ to be mad at you sometimes, but you're still my sister. A sister that happens to be a you-know-what, even though I'm someone who is supposedly destined to kill you.

You know what? I'm not going to just write "you-know-what" whenever I'm writing about a vampire. It's unnecessary, and avoiding the word isn't going to make the difference I hope it might. I don't care if my destiny is to be a vampire hunter, because I'm not going to follow it.

If my tragic and brutal life has taught me anything, it's that vampires just don't "go away". They'll always exist, and I will always have to watch my back. Nothing I could ever do would stop the existence of vampires, and the danger would still be there regardless of whether my memories have been erased with compulsion. There will always be a threat of some sort, even if I don't see my sister as a monster. That doesn't make me a vampire hunter though. If anything, I'd swear it makes me human. If vampires have a "humanity switch", maybe I do as well.

The reason I'm writing all of this is because I have made a choice. I have made a choice to attend the Arts program at Duke University. Elena, I'm sorry I didn't pick Whitmore, but there's a reason. First, their art program just isn't for me. Also, even if I'm avoiding you... I need space. I need to be able to get grades without compulsion, and to study without watching a bunch of vampires party, and to fall asleep without wondering when I'm going to learn about yet another terrifying supernatural being in our world.

I've packed my bags, and I'm writing this at the bus stop heading to Duke University. I'm going to do my best to manage with the threat of vampires at every corner, and I'm going to live my life the way I choose instead of pointless endeavors that have a good chance of killing me anyways.

I can see the bus pulling up from around the corner. I guess the only thing left to say is...

University will be a walk in the park after all that I've been through.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** So I'm not yet sure how often I will actually update, but I have a feeling I'll be more likely to complete a fanfiction story if I try to dedicate some sort of time commitment to it. I'll think about it and see what I decide. Anyways, I decided to write a second chapter and feel it's worthy of publication in its current state... so please enjoy (hopefully you'll like it).

 **Jeremy's Journal: Entry #2**

I'm here. I'm here. I can barely believe it.

I mean, I wouldn't be here if Elena didn't compel my good grades and all, but I feel like I deserve my place here as much as anyone. Maybe even more so. How many people have seen the crazy supernatural side and came back? How many people have died and came back to tell the tale?

Witches and vampires and werewolves... it's amazing that there are any humans alive when you think about it.

I should probably keep the "crazy talk" to a minimum, though, if I actually want to follow my plan of moving on from all this. So I will.

I have a roommate. His name is Mark. He seems so normal, it's almost gratifying. Of course, I can't help it but look over my shoulder every once in a while, but I think that's normal for me. I mean, how many times have I met someone normal and yet I learn that they are truly and utterly crazy? I'm starting to think that maybe someone not being suspicious makes them a million times more suspicious than anyone else.

Still, I'm fairly certain Mark is normal. He has to be. He did stay up fairly late last night, but I did too. It probably would have been more weird if we went to sleep at a normal hour - we are University students afterall.

Also, I don't think someone with supernatural ties would be so chill and greet you with "What's up?" for the first time as if we've been best buddies forever. It all could be part of some act, but I can't spend the rest of my life thinking everyone I meet just might happen to be something supernatural. For one thing, I'd be absolutely paranoid. The more important thing about that mindset is I'm scared that I would quite literally lose my mind. I don't even know how I haven't managed to... even Elena managed to turn off her humanity once. To be fair, that was because I had died...

Mark just asked me what I was writing... It's hard not to be chill around him, even if I feel utterly terrible.

"Dude, I was just thinking about how messed up life can be."

Mark just nodded. I like how he didn't say that he understood, because that would be almost impossibly difficult. His nod made me feel more gracious about my messed up life, though.

So, I guess to recap: I've moved into my dorm, have a fairly normal roommate named Mark that I highly doubt will try to kill me, and the start of the semester is tomorrow.

I hope everything will go as planned.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** I know it's been a while since my last update, but I didn't forget about this. I had a lot of this chapter already written beforehand, but I wanted to be sure that the direction I was taking with the story so far seemed like a good one. Also, I would really appreciate any reviews, follows or favorites. In regards to reviews, I'm not afraid of honest opinions, but I would like constructive criticism if you can offer any. I have no idea what people currently reading this fanfiction like, love, or hate about it. Regardless, I would like to thank everyone for taking the time to read this.

 **Jeremy's Journal: Entry #3**

I attended some of my first classes today. What was really interesting about today... and kind of unsettling too, and it might take a lot of words to create a worthy description of everything I want to say.

Today wasn't a disaster. I guess I'm just surprised it wasn't. As much as I want to move on from all things vampire and supernatural, they have a knack for always finding me. I think I might be more than just paranoid - probably because I know how real and dangerous all these threats can pose to me. I'm not just scared of dying (again), I'm scared of dying because I know what it's like. I know what it's like to die and I don't think I ever want to go through that again. I am human, but that doesn't mean I want an unwarranted death I might have been able to prevent.

Anyways, even if today didn't end in a tragic disaster, something did feel off. Especially in this class I have on the history of photography. There's this girl - her name is Sarah. Sarah Nelson. Something just felt so _off_ about her. When I was one of the five, I didn't have to shake someone's hand to know if they were a vampire - I'd just know. Maybe it was because I was someone special, maybe The Other Side didn't want me to die, or maybe it even had something to do with my only living blood relative being a vampire. I haven't had that same feeling since I've came back from the other side, and I've been around enough vampires to know if I would have felt it. However, I just felt something else about Sarah.

I just felt something really odd about Sarah, like that feeling you have when someone steps on your grave. Trust me, I would know. I saw it happen more times than I'd like to admit when I was on The Other Side.

By the way, does The Other Side even exist anymore? Bonnie isn't the anchor, and I felt like I had just got out of there before the dimension (or whatever I'm supposed to call it) was ripped apart by the threads. I heard that people sometimes leave The Other Side when they found peace, but I got more of an impression of something like a hurricane of hell than so-called peace. To be honest, I'm not even sure what I should be thinking about Bonnie. There's so much pain, but I also know that there's a chance she might even be watching me write this. I do hope that whatever Bonnie found was peace... because I'm not sure I could ever feel the same if she was in some sort of living hell. I'd feel the guilt of being dead and not being able to do anything about it all over again.

Anyways, The Other Side is some sort of supernatural purgatory. How do regular humans find peace? Do I count for that peace, whatever it is?

I should probably stop thinking about all those things. It's not like they are doing me any good. Eventually, I will die. I will have to live with the fact that I will die. I don't want to waste all my finite moments thinking about the infinite. I guess the only other thing I wanted to say about all of this before I try to move on from the topic for good is: at least The Other Side was somewhat comforting. I could think about whatever I wanted, endlessly, and even if I saw everybody currently alive screw up, I knew of my own existence, even if nobody did. One of the things that scared me the most about death before I learned about anything supernatural, somewhat ironically, wasn't the fact that I would be dead, it was the chance that I wouldn't know I was, and I might never be able to know what I was missing.

I think what scares me so much about Sarah Nelson is that I don't know what is different about her. It could be a bad something, and that potential isn't good for my sanity.

Usually, I would just try to avoid someone like her at all costs, but with her being the role model student that's basically impossible. Besides, deliberate avoidance may be as much of a red flag to her as it is to me.

Regardless of whether or not Sarah might turn to be a threat, I will have to constantly pay attention. I can't let my guard down. The last time I died, it only took a few split seconds...

I have to stop writing soon. Good grades without compulsion actually take effort. However, something that stays with me off these pages is wondering if I'll ever truly be "normal" again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** I'm happy to see that people are reading and enjoying this fanfiction. A review mentioned if the Jeremy in this fanfiction knew past Sarah... he didn't, unfortunately. Anyways, I'd like to thank everyone who's reading - it really means a lot to me.

 **Jeremy's Journal Entry #4:**

I wake up. I go to a lecture, or a workshop of some sort. I come back to my dorm. That's been my life the past week.

Everything seems normal and I'm not sure I like it. Yes, I admit that I've always wanted to be normal, especially when I found out things that almost everyone normal is oblivious to.

I guess what I'm trying to say - or write - is that "normal" seems to be losing its magic. Maybe it's the stress involved with being a normal University student, I don't really know.

When life throws you vampires, witches, and werewolves, it's the concept of normal that becomes mysterious and fascinating. As much as I don't want to be involved in all that again, there's still a tiny part of me that wants to. Ironically, the things I hated the most about all this also seems to be what I love most about it too. The danger - you could die at any second. You never know what breath will be your last. It's terrifying, and makes you wish for anything else in life. However, there's also some immense feeling of gratification that comes with it too... it makes every second that you're alive count and matter for something.

I know that I can be impulsive. As much as I want to say that University was a well-planned decision I have always wanted to make, it wasn't. I wanted to get away from everything. It feels like I'm living another life now, so I guess my plan is working - to some extent, at least.

However, being impulsive isn't always a good thing. Especially when what you're really in the mood for is hunting down some vampires, and not ordering takeout.

It doesn't help that the only reason I was able to get into Duke in the first place was with Elena's help. If you think about it, compulsion is like the ultimate form of cheating. I'm having the hardest time trying to catch up to even be able to have enough context to be able to understand and reference different things in class.

Sometimes I wonder if I even deserve to be here. Yeah, I have fought the worst monsters imaginable that everyone seems to be blissfully ignorant of... but it feels like such a different ballgame it's like it doesn't even matter. I can't really compare the two. It also doesn't help that by attending Duke I may have crushed someone else's lifelong dreams... someone who worked really hard and struggled to get into this school, and ended up being rejected anyways. However, there isn't really much use in thinking about all the things that have happened, and what might have happened if they didn't.

Even if I don't feel guilty... I feel sort of empty. The previous ideas of a normal life being almost magical in itself has turned into a dull and boring reality. Really, the only interesting thing so far is that I haven't seen Sarah at all. No one seems to notice, either. I don't think it's malicious, I think of it more as sad. I mean, everyone claims to admire Sarah Nelson, they say she has amazing talent and will be very successful. Everyone acts like they want to be her friend. But when Sarah isn't around, everyone acts like nothing has happened.

I guess the best way I might have been able to describe my current thoughts and feelings would be to say that "the grass is always greener on the other side," but that expression doesn't have quite the same meaning it used to.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Here's a new update! Jeremy still isn't all that sure about what Sarah Nelson being missing means, but he has some serious self-reflection. Why is Sarah Nelson truly missing? Get ready to find out in the next chapter I'm planning!

 **Jeremy's Journal: Entry #5**

Sarah. Sarah Nelson.

She's still missing. I almost forgot about her like everyone else seems too... and I feel super guilty about that, too. I mean, I know I have only seen her a few times. It's not like we're close or anything. I just... feel obligated to care for some reason. What if she's in danger? What if my weird feeling wasn't Sarah herself, but some dangerous being stalking her? Or worse... what if one of _my_ enemies is taking it out on Sarah? What if they think she's my girlfriend or something and are holding her for leverage or for some sort of ransom?

I'm probably overthinking it, but what scares me is the chance that I might not be. I was never supposed to go downstairs and into the basement as a child. Even with my active imagination, I could have never even thought about the sinister things that were really happening within it.

Something I have learned from basically all my experiences in the past year is that both vampires and vampire hunters can have a heart and vampires and vampire hunters can be heartless killers. At first, it can be practically impossible to decipher which is which. Some are much more easier to spot than others... if I wasn't one of the five myself I am certain that I would have realized much faster that those guys don't show mercy to anyone, even those who are supposed on "their side."

Heck, maybe that's why I don't want to be a "vampire hunter." Maybe I'm too 'soft', thinking that vampires have some potential for good or whatnot, and maybe that weakness just might be one of my strengths. Whatever I'm supposed to be, I don't exactly fit into the whole stereotypical vampire hunter as if I'm not any individual whatsoever.

When I've met others - others that were supposed to be like me - I got some not-so-helpful advice. Some advice? It was outright cringe worthy and repulsing. Maybe I'm not a true 'vampire hunter' or whatever, but I didn't need to be to realize that a lot of these guys were disgusting and I could barely consider them human beings the way they happen to consider vampires. Everyone seems to have that one story. The way they talk about it, it's supposed to be some confidence boost or something. 'Ah yeah, I felt that way at some point, too.' Maybe that's part of the reason their stories are so horrifying. They all share something in common - how they ended up killing someone that was close to them after that someone became a vampire. It's not casual storytime, it's ultimate betrayal of trust. These guys are blind not to see it. Everyone seems to repeat some similar closing line too, like 'I realized Cassie wasn't Cassie anymore. She was a vampire who looked like Cassie.' People change! Especially when their circumstances in life change! Vampirism is one hell of a change. It doesn't mean that their body suddenly became possessed by someone 'you thought loved you.' You changed when you became a vampire hunter, didn't you? Did nobody ask what was even going on with you anymore? Did nobody notice your mysterious disappearances, or the mysterious disappearances of others who just happened to meet you? Maybe you weren't lucky enough to have someone who cared about you enough, but I do, even if my life is messed up. I deal with that mess though, even if it makes uncomfortable. I don't kill my sister and start sharing serial killers stories at the dinner table!

I started this entry out of concern for Sarah, and now I'm just venting out about my own frustrations in life. Somehow, that doesn't feel as off as it sounds. Sarah is mysterious... I don't know exactly who she is, if she's an angel or if she's a demon. My thoughts about her are confusing and are sometimes a downward spiral - emotions I feel about my own existence fairly often. For her own sake, I hope wherever she is, she's okay. That she's not a hostage or anything, and she just happens to be taking an unplanned vacation to someplace she really enjoys. It's wishful thinking, considering the way my life has been, but wishful thinking may be all I got.


End file.
